Andrés RM Velarde
On Being Special.
You don’t become special by trying. Being a unique, one-of-a-kind person is an emergent property that manifests only when you let go of your desire to be special. Western culture, with its unspoken mindsets, is especially pernicious because it teaches you that you can will your way to special. If you do enough pulling on your bootstraps, you’ll make a name for yourself. This lie propagates selfishness and discounts the value of our shared humanity.
Stop trying to be unique. Stop trying to be special. It doesn’t matter all that much. In the pursuit of singularity, stand-aloneness, you’ll squander any chance of being special. Seeking specialness is rooted in comparison and finite thinking. As long as you keep striving to be unique, you’ll continue modelling your actions off the blueprints of others. In imitation there is no originality. If you’re trying to be special, you’re always checking on others and asking, “Did I do it? Am I finally special? Have I arrived?” As if they had the answers. If you define “special” based on what others think, you’ll become blind to what matters to you. If you’re constantly trying to meet people’s expectations, you’ll miss any chance of exceeding your own. Those who are great, those who live exceptional lives, are not so because because society deemed it. Nor because they sought exceptionality with intention. They are special because they named what mattered to them, and courageously made choices along the way that aligned with their values.
So put forth something from your own stock. Stop worrying that you won’t be able to fit society’s mold for success. Realize there is no right way to live life, to be special, successful, and happy. Each and every day you must ask, “Am I enough for myself?” It’s a scary question to face, and you must face it, for the choice is yours. Have the courage to let go, starting with the belief that you have to be special.
You are enough. If you keep walking down the path, you may see how special your existence is. Avoid the path, for fear or other reasons, and you nor anyone else may see how special your existence is. I’m not telling you to stop trying. I’m telling you to stop trying to be special. There are better things to do with your energy.
Written in Chicago, Friday June 13, 2025.